You know when you're waiting for a download and it seems to be taking forever and you're pretty sure you know how to count and it finally says "15 seconds" and you get all excited to say "14" and then it jumps to "47?" How lame is that? Maybe the person who inputted all the 1's and 0's into my computer thought it would be Hilarious to make my computer count wrong. Well, it's not really funny when you've been waiting 15 minutes and everything is going slow and then suddenly the whole thing stops working because you've clicked everything three times, respectively, and it just can't think anymore. It's almost like when you're asking you husbands a question and they take more than 5 seconds to answer and you go on to the next one and eventually you're on the 12th question before they even know how to respond to the first? And by that time they're really annoyed and you can't do Anything with them because they were following you in the first place. And then you have to wait 47 more seconds when you were only going to have to wait 15 to get the first answer. So you dug your own hole in the first place, sister.
My mother and father in law came to visit today and we went to the museum, had a dunch together and played and got in the hot tub. It was very fun! I think I'm going to start a poll. I'm going to ask how many people, after they got married, started calling their mother and father in law "mom" and "dad." It was a tricky thing to figure out when I first got married but eventually we found a happy medium by just using their names, like any other adult friends I have around town. And now that it's a habit, why stop? I actually don't know what to say anymore because I just don't. Wow. I think that's the first time I didn't have anything to say. Amazing. I'm glad it's recorded in History!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Taggy Tag Tag Day
So what is being tagged anyway? But I got tagged and here goes. I'm supposed to list 7 quirky things about myself (do I really have that many??) and then I'll see if anyone else is reading my blog when I tag someone else. Here goes:
1. Every child stares at my red arm. Just when I feel like I'm fitting in and I don't have to worry about sticking out like a sore thumb, some kid walks up and asks, "What's that big red thing on your arm?" to which I reply either, "I got struck by lightening" "I played with matches" "a hickey" or "someone sat down and tooted on me." I've actually never used the last one but man it's good. And then when I supply the truth, "It's an excess of blood vessels on the surface of my skin called a portwine stain and it turns purple when I'm cold" they never believe me. Go figure. What's the point of lying if they don't even believe when you're telling the truth? Oh wait....
2. My fingers may be short and stubby, but they can move fast on a piano. It's the biggest paradox about me. I just Loooove piano music. My great love affair.
3. I am a smell person. My absolute favorite smell in this entire world is the smell of Jared's dirty jeans. It's like coming home. I also like his smell after he works out. But not in the garden. That's a stinky smell. I can also tell if anyone has remotely touched my children. I tell Jared if he ever lets some lady touch our kids I'll know. Every lady has a smell...
4. I always have to get the best deal. I feel ripped off even if I've gotten a great deal but not the best. Frugality is a curse. Pattuie.
5. I don't like talking on my phone, yet it's the hardest thing I do trying to keep in my minutes limit. What can I say? People just like to talk to me. Or I just like to take care of business. Or both.
6. Baths are my fettish. I catch my breath when I walk into a bathroom with a luxuriously large bath and I judge a bathroom by how hot the water can get. That's where I read my books and relax. You don't have to change diapers or feed kids when you're in your bath.
7. I haven't drawn a large drawing in two years and I suspect I haven't lost my touch. We'll have to see. It seems unfair that I am not putting this talent to use and yet I still have it. Wasn't there a parable about that somewhere? I'm in trouble. My coins are going to get taken away. But every day I look at what I've done and scold myself for not having the time to do more. But my best priority is my children and this one will have to wait until all is well.
1. Every child stares at my red arm. Just when I feel like I'm fitting in and I don't have to worry about sticking out like a sore thumb, some kid walks up and asks, "What's that big red thing on your arm?" to which I reply either, "I got struck by lightening" "I played with matches" "a hickey" or "someone sat down and tooted on me." I've actually never used the last one but man it's good. And then when I supply the truth, "It's an excess of blood vessels on the surface of my skin called a portwine stain and it turns purple when I'm cold" they never believe me. Go figure. What's the point of lying if they don't even believe when you're telling the truth? Oh wait....
2. My fingers may be short and stubby, but they can move fast on a piano. It's the biggest paradox about me. I just Loooove piano music. My great love affair.
3. I am a smell person. My absolute favorite smell in this entire world is the smell of Jared's dirty jeans. It's like coming home. I also like his smell after he works out. But not in the garden. That's a stinky smell. I can also tell if anyone has remotely touched my children. I tell Jared if he ever lets some lady touch our kids I'll know. Every lady has a smell...
4. I always have to get the best deal. I feel ripped off even if I've gotten a great deal but not the best. Frugality is a curse. Pattuie.
5. I don't like talking on my phone, yet it's the hardest thing I do trying to keep in my minutes limit. What can I say? People just like to talk to me. Or I just like to take care of business. Or both.
6. Baths are my fettish. I catch my breath when I walk into a bathroom with a luxuriously large bath and I judge a bathroom by how hot the water can get. That's where I read my books and relax. You don't have to change diapers or feed kids when you're in your bath.
7. I haven't drawn a large drawing in two years and I suspect I haven't lost my touch. We'll have to see. It seems unfair that I am not putting this talent to use and yet I still have it. Wasn't there a parable about that somewhere? I'm in trouble. My coins are going to get taken away. But every day I look at what I've done and scold myself for not having the time to do more. But my best priority is my children and this one will have to wait until all is well.
Avoid the Unavoidable, Just Try, I Double Dog Dare You
There's a page in the Book of Women where it says, and I quote, "Don't ever try to explain why you do what you do because they don't even want to know." I have to admit I'm not all up in the social cues of women and that's why I'm not friends with every girl I know. The friends that I choose to spend most of my time with are different. They're bluntly honest, very loving, and let things go easily. I thought, hey, I must be pretty cool that I'm friends with these types of people. They'll accept your blunders and still realize there's something of worth in there behind all of that social awkwardness. I didn't really realize that I'm friends with those types BECAUSE I'm such a goofus. But hey, I am what I am and I can't take it back. Who wants to live their lives stuffed into the perfect picture of someone who isnt' you? It's like being stuck in a portrait of the Brady Family. Always trying to say the right things, never speaking of things that really matter to you, being fake and proper, but only scratching the surface of conversation that actually means something. There's plenty of women who don't get past, "Hi! How are you today? Oh I'm wonderful. I just made five thousand cupcakes and volunteered at the Pretty Dog Competition. Yes, I'm so happy all the time. Look at my perfect house. Oh no. My children never get dirty." I feel like I'm sitting on a church pew every time I'm in those conversations. And those pews are only supposed to be sat in for 3 hours one day a week in an uncomfortable dress. Real life requires some fun and some stress. Anyway, (did you know gramatically, it's Anyway not Anyways) I like to laugh a lot and not have to deal with the social nuances of guessing what each move by the female species is supposed to mean. I thought other people wanted that also. Who wants to guess what it means when you open the door slowly or with gusto? Who wants to guess why you did your hair like Silvester Stylone (sp?) instead of Misses Merryweather. Those are bad examples, but my point is, I don't like guessing. So I'm honest myself. I'll tell you the real reason why I'm not talking to you for some time instead of you guessing if I'm mad in the first place and what exactly it was for. I'll admit where I messed up. Sometimes. I won't just wonder if you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll ask so I can help. Why is honesty so bad? Did anyone see P.S. I Love You? You know that guy who doesn't have a filter and just says what he means and means what he says? The girl in that movie accepted him anyway and was still his friend. But people in real life don't do that. They don't really want to know why you do what you do, even if your motives are clean and the reasons are clear. They just want to assume that you're being a jerk because it's easier. Assume what you will, but for me, I will continue to be honest and I won't leave you wondering why I do the things I do.
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