Avoid the Unavoidable, Just Try, I Double Dog Dare You

There's a page in the Book of Women where it says, and I quote, "Don't ever try to explain why you do what you do because they don't even want to know." I have to admit I'm not all up in the social cues of women and that's why I'm not friends with every girl I know. The friends that I choose to spend most of my time with are different. They're bluntly honest, very loving, and let things go easily. I thought, hey, I must be pretty cool that I'm friends with these types of people. They'll accept your blunders and still realize there's something of worth in there behind all of that social awkwardness. I didn't really realize that I'm friends with those types BECAUSE I'm such a goofus. But hey, I am what I am and I can't take it back. Who wants to live their lives stuffed into the perfect picture of someone who isnt' you? It's like being stuck in a portrait of the Brady Family. Always trying to say the right things, never speaking of things that really matter to you, being fake and proper, but only scratching the surface of conversation that actually means something. There's plenty of women who don't get past, "Hi! How are you today? Oh I'm wonderful. I just made five thousand cupcakes and volunteered at the Pretty Dog Competition. Yes, I'm so happy all the time. Look at my perfect house. Oh no. My children never get dirty." I feel like I'm sitting on a church pew every time I'm in those conversations. And those pews are only supposed to be sat in for 3 hours one day a week in an uncomfortable dress. Real life requires some fun and some stress. Anyway, (did you know gramatically, it's Anyway not Anyways) I like to laugh a lot and not have to deal with the social nuances of guessing what each move by the female species is supposed to mean. I thought other people wanted that also. Who wants to guess what it means when you open the door slowly or with gusto? Who wants to guess why you did your hair like Silvester Stylone (sp?) instead of Misses Merryweather. Those are bad examples, but my point is, I don't like guessing. So I'm honest myself. I'll tell you the real reason why I'm not talking to you for some time instead of you guessing if I'm mad in the first place and what exactly it was for. I'll admit where I messed up. Sometimes. I won't just wonder if you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'll ask so I can help. Why is honesty so bad? Did anyone see P.S. I Love You? You know that guy who doesn't have a filter and just says what he means and means what he says? The girl in that movie accepted him anyway and was still his friend. But people in real life don't do that. They don't really want to know why you do what you do, even if your motives are clean and the reasons are clear. They just want to assume that you're being a jerk because it's easier. Assume what you will, but for me, I will continue to be honest and I won't leave you wondering why I do the things I do.