The "Pooper"

My baby reached a momentous milestone the other day. He learned how to poop up his back! Yesss. And Madison learned to lay her whole body on top of Jackson and Rylee learned to scream at an even higher pitch. Now, if you didn't think any of these things was possible, you're mistaken.
And did you know that they found even more health benefits for chocolate? Yes, I read it in the Reader's Digest. Everything I read in the Reader's Digest is fact. Now, I'm a chocolate lover. You could even call me die-hard, but even I am willing to admit that all these "findings" are just a reason for fat people to eat even more of it. But it was kind of nice how they put a tiny little disclaimer sentence at the very bottom of the article stating that it isn't really healthy if you're just sitting on a couch watching TV, but it is when paired with eating healthy and exercising. Are they Crazy? Who in their right mind would eat chocolate AND exercise? They're writing that article to two different groups of people. And only the fat ones are reading it. (yes, yes, yes, that includes me)
My Madison has a bad case of the "Holeme's." (by the way I hope you notice my theme for the day is unnecessary quotation marks. I love to use poor grammar to get the English majors itching) Translated, that means, "Hold me." Now, if you're male and you just read this paragraph, I'll be surprised if you were able to follow my side note and jump back to the original point of my message without a moment of misunderstanding. Anyway, she keeps wanting me to hold her and I just don't have the arms. One of my kids (I won't say who because it might hurt someone's feelings) is pooping his head off. Two others are trying to suffocate the first. The blond one is now taking two little fingers and walking them all over the first's face. And now the second little offender is copying the first and AHHHHH it's driving me NUTs.
Let me tell you a story. I'm getting good at this because each of my girls requests a story at each naptime and bedtime. That's 28 stories a week. I wish I was getting paid for it. There was once a girl. You'll find this interesting, I know I do. This girl was in High School. High School is lame. And at high school, she would use her hard-earned money to buy a candy bar each day. The candy bar of choice was Twix (to this day they don't taste good anymore). This went on for Months until she got fat. Then she wouldn't like the mirror and she'd stop eating them for a long time. It took intense focus. And then she'd get skinny. Fast forward to college. Skip to getting married. Of course, the marriage and the baby came about the same time. Suddenly she can't remember how to stop eating the candy. And it continues until there are three children and she STILL can't remember how to stop eating candy. Wasn't that a cool story? That's like the history of my life. Eat lots of candy, stop, do it again, stop, do it again, stop, then eat lots of candy and forgot how to stop. So if any of you remember, please let me know!